One Saturday afternoon,
a man was sitting in his lawn chair drinking beer and watching his wife mow the
lawn. A neighbour lady was so outraged at this, she came over and shouted at the
man, "You should be hung!"
To which he calmly replied, "I am. That's why she cuts the grass!"
*
* *
A guy walks into
an elevator and stands next to a beautiful woman. After a few minutes he turns
to her and says, "Can I smell your pussy?"
The woman looks at him in disgust and says, "Certainly not!"
"Hmmm," he replies. "It must be your feet, then."
*
* *
It was a nice sunny
day when three men were walking down a country road, when they saw a bush with
a pig's ass popping out.
The first man say's "I wish that was Demi Moore's Ass"
The second man says, "I wish that was Pamela Anderson's Ass"
Then the third man say's, "I wish it was dark"
*
* *
A woman says to
her girlfriend, "My husband has dandruff."
"So give him Head and Shoulders."
Her friend answers. "OK, how do I give Shoulders?"
*
* *
A husband feeling
a bit horny goes to the bathroom and returns with 4 aspirin and a glass of water
for his wife. He says, "Here honey, here are some aspirin and a some water."
She replied, "but honey I do not have a headache!"
He replied, "Thank God!"
*
* *
A guy is walking
down the street and enters a clock and watch shop. While looking around, he notices
a drop dead gorgeous female clerk behind the counter.
He walks up to the counter where she is standing, unzips his pants, and places
his dick on the counter. "What are you doing, Sir?", she asks.
"This is a clock shop!"
He replied, "I know it is. And I would like 2 hands and a face put on this!
