A man was approached
by a colleague at lunch who invited him out for a few beers after work. The man
said that his wife would never go for it, that she does not allow him to go drinking
with the guys after work.
The colleague suggested a way to overcome that problem: "When you get home tonight,
sneak into the house, slide down under the sheets, gently pull down your wife's
panties, and give her oral sex. Women love it, and believe me, she'll never mention
that you were out late with the boys."
So the man agreed to try it, and went out and enjoyed himself. Late that night,
he sneaked into the house, slid down under the sheets, gently slid down his wife's
panties, and gave her oral sex. She moaned and groaned with pleasure, but after
a little while, he realized he had to take a leak, so he told he he'd be right
back, got out of bed and walked down the hall to the bathroom.
When he opened the door and went in, he was very surprised to see his wife sitting
on the john.
"How did you get in here?" he asked.
"Shhh!" she replied, "you'll wake-up my mother!"
*
* *
On preparing to
return home from an out of town trip, a man got a small puppy as a present for
his son. Not having time to get the paperwork to take the puppy on board, the
man just hid the pup down the front of his pants and sneaked him on board the
airplane.
About 30 minutes into the trip, a stewardess noticed the man shaking and quivering.
"Are you okay, sir?" asked the stewardess
"Yes, I'm fine," said the man.
Later, the stewardess noticed the man moaning and shaking again. "Are you sure
you're alright sir?"
"Yes," said the man, "but I have a confession to make. I didn't have time to get
the paperwork to bring a puppy on board, so I hid him down the front of my pants."
"What's wrong?" asked the stewardess. "Is he not house trained?"
"No, that's not the problem. The problem is he's not weaned yet!"
*
* *
Paddy and his two
friends are talking at work. His first friend says:"I think my wife is having
an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters
under our bed and they weren't mine."
His second friend says:"I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber the
other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine."
Paddy says:"I think my wife is having an affair with a horse." Both his friends
look at him with utter disbelief.
"No I'm serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed."
